Stephen Covey’s 5th habit has special implications for college students. It begins with active listening, which leads to understanding and learning. It also helps students develop a positive relationship with their instructors. These students are able to respectfully make their own point and even disagree with their instructors without being disagreeable.
Stephen Covey’s 5th Habit of Highly Effective People
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1990), Dr. Stephen Covey provided his readers with seven life lessons:
- Be Proactive
- Begin with the End in Mind
- Put First Things First
- Think Win/Win
- Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
- Synergize
- Sharpen the Saw
The value of the 5th habit to college students may not be obvious. Covey wrote, “We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first,” (p. 237). Arguably, college student's job is to learn, not to fix problems. However, learning problems can arise. When they do they need fixing.
Covey explained that listening is the key to understanding, but not just any kind of listening will do. The highly acclaimed technique of Active Listening is helpful, but it will not guarantee the one accomplishes what Covey called Empathic Listening. He explained, “The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully, deeply, understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually,” (p. 240).
Active Listening Skills for College Students
Active listening is consistent with Dr. Covey's 5th habit, and websites like Study Guides and Strategies provide resources for students who want to develop this skill. The section on active listening provides a good summary.
Every day, college students enter their classrooms with many things on their minds besides their studies. These mental distractions make it difficult, even impossible at times, to learn. The challenge for students who want to be active listeners is to give their complete attention to the instructor. This takes discipline and requires practice. But effective college students know they are only cheating themselves if they do not concentrate.
Some college students are reluctant to participate in class discussions. Effective students know that active listening requires active involvement. It is mandatory that students answer questions, and not just to impress the instructor. The goal of active listeners is to validate their understanding. Active listeners ask questions when they are unsure about what the instructor just said. If they “think” they understand something, they test themselves by stating it in their own words. For example, an active listener in a political science class might test her understanding of liberalism by raising her hand and beginning with something like, “So if I understand social liberalism correctly, the main difference from classical liberalism is ….”
Active listening also requires controlling one’s emotions and setting aside prejudices. This is a critical for those who want first to understand, and is what Covey meant by empathic listening.
How College Students can Make Themselves Understood
The second part of Stephen Covey’s 5th habit is to make oneself understood. As stated, it starts with active listening. Active listening not only helps students learn, but it also conveys a positive message to their instructors. Without words, these students are communicating, “I want to learn, and I respect you as an instructor.” These students establish a healthy, open relationship with their instructors. And when this occurs, instructors are much more likely to reciprocate by listening to their students.
When a college instructor says something with which students disagree or something that angers them, students who practice Covey’s 5th habit try to figure out what prompted that statement. They may ask themselves questions like, “Why did he say such a mean spirited thing?” or “How does she think I am going to find time to do all that homework?” By genuinely attempting to understand where their instructor is coming from, these students prepare themselves to be understood. They might respond by saying something like, “That seems like an unfair statement, so I am wondering why you said that?” or, “I know you want us to learn statistics, but I am a single mother who works during the day. I don’t know how I am going to get all this work done.”
College Students who Understand and are Understood
By applying Stephen Covey’s 5th habit of highly effective people to their studies, college students become effective learners. They increase their understanding of the subject through active listening. They understand their instructors better than other students.
It doesn't stop there. Students who perfect these listening skills reap an additional benefit. Through mutual respect, they are able to question and even challenge their instructors. Instructors listen to these students and almost always value their inputs. The learning process is much more enjoyable for students and instructors alike.
Paul Hummel - My name is Paul Hummel, and learning has been a life-long pursuit of mine. I began post secondary quest in 1965, and it earned me three ...
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